Everybody Always...for parents and drop outs 1
The basic reason for this blog is to make the calling of God for the people of God (to represent God in the world and reveal God to the world) a more accessible guide for the life of that body of people. One of the reasons that this vocational facet of faith first captured my attention was a combination of reading that I had done and experiences I had with adults my age who had grow up in the church but who had dropped out of church participation. Books like unChristian or You Lost Me by David Kinnaman are hard to read but they peal away your ability to hide from the reality of "the drop out generation"-the high percentage of kids who grew up in the church who left it in the years soon after they moved out on their own. That reading gave me the big picture. My motivation has come more from parents of adults my age coming to me in their sadness over their children's rejection of Christianity or dropping out of church participation (I think that we can often distinguish between these). It is difficult to convey the impact that these experiences have had on my ministry development and life.
There is no simple answer explaining "the drop out generation." It is not simply caused by changes in society. It is not simply explained by dismissing a generation as a bad generation. It is not simply because the church has "stopped calling a sin a sin." I have heard each of these more times than I care to remember. It is not simply because of bad parenting. It is not simply because of the selfish-ness of the "me generation" that parented the "drop out generation." It is not simply because of an oversimplified and in many ways not-so-biblical "gospel." I have heard these too many times as well. Some who read this will have used one or more of those explanations. Some who read this will be deeply offended by some of those explanations. It is complicated but what I can say with confidence is this: (1) a defensive reaction of any of those explanations will not bring adult children back into the church nor will it transform the church into a self-sacrificing, outward looking, or non-judgmental family. (2) Defensive accusation (from either "side") is no replacement for trust in the power of "the gospel." It is ultimately humility before God and others (including our children and parents), a relentless loving desire for God's new creation to be seen in every life, and -above all- faith in God's ability and willingness to bring about God's good purposes in just such a world (and just such a families) that we live in that will make our world right (just/righteous). Some who read this have lost confidence in these last three convictions.
I offer no solutions other than those three basic convictions in this post but simple consideration of those is more than enough for one post. I will return to this conversation often not simply because I think it is important or because I know that there is interest but also because it continues to impact my life on a daily basis. It is important for those who love adult children, those who love but are distanced from their parents, and for those who are parenting now.
There is no simple answer explaining "the drop out generation." It is not simply caused by changes in society. It is not simply explained by dismissing a generation as a bad generation. It is not simply because the church has "stopped calling a sin a sin." I have heard each of these more times than I care to remember. It is not simply because of bad parenting. It is not simply because of the selfish-ness of the "me generation" that parented the "drop out generation." It is not simply because of an oversimplified and in many ways not-so-biblical "gospel." I have heard these too many times as well. Some who read this will have used one or more of those explanations. Some who read this will be deeply offended by some of those explanations. It is complicated but what I can say with confidence is this: (1) a defensive reaction of any of those explanations will not bring adult children back into the church nor will it transform the church into a self-sacrificing, outward looking, or non-judgmental family. (2) Defensive accusation (from either "side") is no replacement for trust in the power of "the gospel." It is ultimately humility before God and others (including our children and parents), a relentless loving desire for God's new creation to be seen in every life, and -above all- faith in God's ability and willingness to bring about God's good purposes in just such a world (and just such a families) that we live in that will make our world right (just/righteous). Some who read this have lost confidence in these last three convictions.
I offer no solutions other than those three basic convictions in this post but simple consideration of those is more than enough for one post. I will return to this conversation often not simply because I think it is important or because I know that there is interest but also because it continues to impact my life on a daily basis. It is important for those who love adult children, those who love but are distanced from their parents, and for those who are parenting now.
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